Why Dora is now Enemy No. 1

Dear Dora,

Please don't take this personally, but you are now my number one enemy. It is nothing that you have done per se to make me dislike you. In fact, it is because my daughter loves you so that we cannot be friends any longer. I am not jealous that whenever you come on you have my child's undivided attention. I know that I will always be number one to Payton.

The reason that I start to cringe when I hear your theme song come on every night at 7:00 p.m. is because it is my cue that my "me time" has started. You think this would be a good thing. Until last week it was. But things have changed. By this time I have already cooked dinner and cleaned the kitchen. Payton is bathed and in her jammies. In the past, I would snuggle on the sofa and watch you right along with Payton. I honestly enjoy your show and feel it is educational. However, why your parents cannot find a shirt that fits you or let you run around all by yourself with only a monkey is beyond me. Also, I think you may be colored blind because your outfit does not match at all. However, I have excepted that everyone's parenting style is different, but I do worry about your safety and your ability to dress yourself.

During the last week of snuggling with Payton on the sofa, I realized that this would be the perfect time to start working out again. So last week, as your theme song played I started to work out again. I have been trying to get into a routine. So now I am like Pavolv's dogs, and every time your theme song starts my body wants to revolt, but my mind knows that it is time to actually get up and start moving.

Please do not take this personally; however, right now my legs and arms ache. Since I do not want to blame myself for being so out of shape, I have decided that I am going to blame you.

Regards,

Shanna