Talking Business and Going Private

Last night I had another important talk with Payton.  I have had many important talks with Payton.  I hate having to have them.  However, there are some really sick puppies in this world and it is a necessary evil.  This important talk was based on an article I read.  It involved a five year old girl that was nearly molested by a boy that was nine at her daycare.  We have already discussed with Payton the importance of no one touching her business.  Yes, we call it her business.  My mom came up with this as Payton and Cooper were taking a bath together about year ago.  Payton inquired about the difference between her and Cooper down below and my mom in a fit of panic just simply stated that it is his business and this is your business and we don't touch each others business.  I can understand the general terminology, and in fact I am somewhat relieved that she came up with the concept.  I hate it when people give body parts silly names or refer to them in the correct medical terminology.  I am not  ready to add the words penis and vagina to her vocabulary.  Judge me if you must.  I don't care.

Back to the important talk.  I haven't spoken to Payton about the possibility of another kid trying to take advantage of her.  I have only spoken to her about another adult or a person in general. Therefore, anytime we have an important talk, I always start it off that way.  I sit her down and look her in the eyes so she knows that this is important.  So last night after her bath as we were cuddling on the sofa, I told her that I needed to talk to her about something important.  She also responded that she needed to talk to me about something important in her most serious voice.  I asked if she wanted to go first; however, she said I could.  Therefore, I begin the speech about how no one should touch her business or make her feel uncomfortable even another kid.  If someone tries this or if she feels in anyway uncomfortable she needs to leave the situation, tell a teacher, and always tell Mommy.  There are no secrets from Mommy when it comes to this and Mommy will never be mad.  I made her make sure she understood and even pinky promise.  I kept thinking to myself, why in the hell is it necessary to have these kind of discussion with a three year old?  However, I am not dumb enough to live in a bubble where there are not sick effs out there that do this kind of stuff.

Now, it was Payton's turn.  She told me the same exact thing.  That if anyone touched my business or made me feel uncomfortable I should tell her and Richard (my boss).  I give myself credit for not laughing because I didn't want to take away from the importance of what I told her.  She also made my pinky promise that I would tell her and Richard if this ever happened. Okay doky then. 


Also, I would welcome any and all feedback or ideas on how you handle these talks with your own little ones.

I know this is the first of many important talks we will have to have with Payton.  Don't even get me started on my fear of technology and the internet.  However, I know that this is something that will have to be discussed and dealt with in the future.  Now that brings me to this.  I am thinking about making this blog private.  The whole point of the blog was to document our family life for our family and friends.  However, I always hate it when I stalk blogs and they go private.  Not that I have a huge fan following, but I know I do have some lurkers out there.  Also, I kind of have a pretty good idea of who they are, and I would have no problem allowing you to view the blog.  Therefore, while I am considering this..........I welcome all feedback on the subject.  I think that I have for the most part already made up my mind regarding the privacy thing.  Therefore, please e-mail, even if I have your e-mail, your e-mail address so I can make sure you can view the blog when and if this becomes private.

Psychology 101

You may not know this but my undergraduate degree was in Psychology.  This probably explains why I went on to law school.  To be honest, I don't really remember a whole lot from all my psychology courses.  I guess the three concepts that I somewhat recall are:  (1) Pavlov's dogs and classical conditioning; (2) Maslow's hierarchy of needs; and (3)  Freud's Id, Ego and Super Ego. 

In daily application, we have used classical conditioning for potty training.  Rewarding any time she takes care of business.  Now Payton expects a treat anytime she goes to bathroom.  Also, Maslow's hierarchy of needs seems pretty self explanatory.  That leads us now to Freud's theory.

I will copy from wikipedia the general definitions of each because it is just easier that way.

The id  is filled with energy reaching it from the instincts, but it has no organization, produces no collective will, but only a striving to bring about the satisfaction of the instinctual needs subject to the observance of the pleasure principle.

The ego acts according to the reality principle; i.e. it seeks to please the id’s drive in realistic ways that will benefit in the long term rather than bringing grief.

The super-ego aims for perfection. It comprises that organized part of the personality structure, mainly but not entirely unconscious, that includes the individual's ego ideals, spiritual goals, and the psychic agency.


So why I am wasting your time with psychology 101 recap?  Well, because Payton has one big super-ego now.  Maybe not a super-ego in the traditional Freudian scheme, but a super-ego none the less.  Here are some examples of Payton's inflated super-ego:


Last night we were kicking a ball around the house.  She declared she is an expert in soccer.  She is the best soccer player.  I asked her if she wanted to get back into soccer, and she declared (with her hands on her hips) that she doesn't need to take soccer because she is already the best at soccer.  She was dead serious.  




She is convinced that she is a real princess.  Some of it in a good way and some in a bad.  She declares that she can't drink her drinks fast because she is a princess.  She also declares that because she is a princess she can only wear dresses.  Don't you know that princess do not wear jeans???




She also declares that it is hard being so beautiful.  Although I don't correct her on her being beautiful, I do try to limit her primping in the mirror.




Now here is the confession part.............  I am so happy, proud, and delighted that she sees herself this way.  I know that you should never teach your child to boast, but I am thrilled that she has such high self-esteem right now.  I want to encourage her to always think of herself highly, less the bragging, boastful part.  I want to encourage her to never let anyone put her down.  I know how girls can be.  I know that when the middle school years come around that girls start to get plagued with insecurities.  That they start to doubt their abilities, their looks, their clothes, and their social standing of middle school hierarchy.  I so much want to teach her that she needs to be a free thinker, and that she can't let anyone's opinion change or doubt how she views herself. 

When she makes her declarations to me about her abilities, looks, or outfit choices, I look at it as she is being confident.  I wish and want many things for my daughter throughout her life.  However, the most important thing that I want is for to feel loved and be confident.  I think that if you are confident in yourself it will lead to lasting friendships, finding a partner in life that is worthy and appreciates you, and finding a career/profession that you love.  I may be wrong about this, but for what it is worth, if she wants to declare she is the best at something then I am just going to nod and smile. 

Law Books

I was a super dork when it came to my law textbooks. I would usually always buy use, but I would never resale them at the end of the semester. I thought that I would actually need them when I became a lawyer. However, I can state on the record that I have never once used my law books in the practice of law. Derek also kept a lot of his law textbooks as well. Therefore, we have about 30 law books in our house. They are currently residing at the top of the guest bedroom closet. About once I year I will clean out our house. You know, throw stuff away that we have never used or that is broken. Every year the law books go into the maybe pile. However, I never throw them out. I always think that maybe we can use them for decorating the office. They are so pretty and so stately looking. So every year I consider throwing them away, and every year they end up back in the top of the closet. That was until yesterday.


I bought a pretty wooden sign that I wanted to rest on the top of my laundry room cabinets. I didn't want to hang it behind on the wall because I couldn't reach it and because I wanted it to be more upfront. As I went to put the big wooden sign on top of the cabinet there was a problem. Apparently, because of the molding on top of the cabinet, the bottom half of the sign was hidden. Oh crap.......... what to do?? I thought.....hmmmm.... I need something flat and that can lay on the bottom of the cabinet that will give it the additional height to be seen. However, it will have to be pretty long in length. Viola......my law school textbooks.

Here is the sign..........




Trust me you can see the entire sign. I took the picture from this view so you can't see the piles of laundry on the washing machine and dryer. The sign is currently resting on my civil procedure book, anti-trust book, and wills and trust. They were roughly the same thickness and gave it just enough height to see the sign without seeing what it was resting on.

I knew there was a reason I kept my law books.

Free Dress Day

On the days Payton goes to Spanish School she has to wear her Spanish t-shirt. However, about once a month they have free dress day. You have to pay a dollar, but Payton lives for free dress day. On the days when she has to wear her t-shirt, she will tell me that she wore a pretty dress to school, but no one could see it because it wasn't a free dress day. Well, today was a free dress day and Payton loved it. Here she is modeling one of her many dresses and new shoes.





Payton is also really into singing and making up her own songs. Here she is this morning. Also, please note how excited she is about Addison coming to her recital in June.

Easter 2012

Well............ this weekend was a blast. The weather was awesome (for the most part). Let's see.... we decided to dye Easter eggs on Friday night. This was the first time we have dyed eggs. Last year we were in Hereford for Easter, so this was our first Easter at home that Payton could actually understand all the Easter activities. Not that you care, but I will probably to a whole post about my feelings and vinegar. Not to ruin the suspense of upcoming post, but I hate the smell of vinegar.

Back to dying Easter eggs. I actually bought two packets of Easter egg dye. One from the Dollar Store and one from Williams Sonoma. I boiled a dozen eggs and we were off. Since we had two packets, we actually had 12 dye tablets. As I was cooling off the eggs, Derek and Payton were in charge of dropping the tablets into the cups. Derek accidentally dropped two tablets into one cup. We currently have the Great Debate going on as to which egg got the special mix. I'll let you judge. Please tell me from which egg below do you think got Derek's special coloring:





I happen to think it is the gray, rotten looking one. Derek thinks it is one of the pretty blue ones.

Payton loved the whole process. However, as we were waiting for the eggs in the dye, Payton kept telling us to move. Apparently, we were blocking her view of Dora on the TV.


Also, Derek is having fun. He happened to go to the Ranger's opening day and forgot to wear sunscreen. He is just a "little" burned. You can also see Payton staring at the TV.






On Saturday night the Easter Bunny came. Payton was so excited.





Here is a close up of all her loot.



The Easter Bunny mainly got her things to play with outside. There are finger paints, sidewalk chalk, a duck water shooter, stickers, and bubbles with batteries. Girlfriend loves bubbles. Almost every afternoon when I get home from work we sit on the back patio and blow bubbles. We go through a bottle of bubbles each time. The Easter Bunny was pretty smart and decided that Mommy and Daddy could use a little help in keeping up with her bubble habit.

The Easter Bunny really limited the amount of candy that was given. There was one piece in each egg and that was it.

All and all it was a great Easter, and a great weekend.

The Critterman

This weekend was Cooper's 6th birthday party. I can't believe that he is six. I remember being at the hospital when he was born. Needless to say, Cooper is all boy. He is into sharks, dinosaurs, snakes, fish, and any other animal that will give you the creeps. My sister did a wonderful job of having the Critterman make an appearance at Cooper's birthday party. The Critterman was awesome. He comes out with all his animals and does a show for the kids. Cooper had about 16 kids there and they were are taken by the Critterman (as well as the adults). Of course, Payton loved the Critterman as well. It was all she talked about. Here are some pictures from the party.









Payton loved the bounce house and also the Burmese Python.......




Girlfriend was second in line to get this lovely thing wrapped around her neck for a photo.