The Pressure of Parenting

I have been putting a ton of pressure on myself regarding if we are doing things "right" in raising our daughter.  I know that this pressure is purely self-inflicted.  I really don't compare myself to other moms or their children that are around Payton's age.  This is purely my own rational/irrational fears of raising a small child.

The first item on the agenda that I have been freaking out about is school.  I realize Payton will not be going to kindergarten until the fall of 2014; however, we are debating private/public school.  If we are going to go the private school route then I really need to start researching (other than just browsing websites) schools.  However, after reviewing the different websites, I get freaked out because they require a parent interview along with a child interview.  The majority even require testing by the child.  I don't even know if we are going the private school route, but what if Payton can't even get into a private school.  I have talked to numerous parents that have older kids in private school and they said the testing is more just to make sure they are ready for kindergarten and a general assessment.  It is not as if she is going to be asked or expected to perform algebra or speak a second language.

Then the next questions becomes what type of private school?  Do we want a classical approach to her education?  I didn't even know there was a classical approach or what it was until I started researching schools.  Do we want a school that goes through high school?  Do we want a small vs. big school in terms of  sports offered?  There are a thousands pros and cons for each.  It literally hurts my head to think about it.  Also, just how much is this education worth?  I mean public school is free so to speak (and we live in an awesome school district), but private school can vary between $7,000 a year to $14,000.00 a year.  What if we have another kid?  Can we afford two in private school?

Also, there is the issue of her Spanish immersion school she is going to now.  I love it.  She will stick with it until she goes off to kindergarten.  However, because she will be in it for three years, I want her to stick with it to maintain and continue to learn the language.  Since most private schools don't offer Spanish until second or third grade (and I am still unclear on how much they are exposed to in those grades) we are planning on keeping her going once a week after school  for her to continue to be immersed in the language.  Let me tell you, when you add the cost of private school plus tutoring it starts to add up fast.

I know I just need to take a deep breath, but I am a planner.  I want to have a plan in action.  I think most of my stressing is because right now we don't know if we are going the public vs. private school.


The next item, which is still somewhat educational related, is that I don't know if I am treating Payton like too much of an adult and robbing her of her childhood to some extent.  I have always said, and still believe, that talking to Payton as an adult and explaining things to her even as a baby was one of the reasons she was such a verbal child at a young age. Lately, she has been asking a ton of questions about things and I always try to explain them to her.  Somehow we got on a kick about the Sun and I started to explain the solar system to her.  We drew pictures and I showed her videos of our solar system and each planet.  Her favorite planet is Jupiter because it is the biggest and has the most moons.   This also got us into a deeper discussion of the seasons and why they occur based on the the way the Earth is tilted.  So, I decided that I would buy her some solar system toys and this really neat calendar.  Since Easter is coming up, I decided these would be the perfect gifts from the Easter Bunny because they are more expensive items.  (Not super expensive, I mean $35.00 bucks, but way more than the $4.99 plastic toy at the grocery store.)   Don't get me wrong, there will be plenty of candy eggs, bubbles, and a coloring book, but I started thinking, "What kind of mother gets her kid this from  Easter Bunny?"  OMG...... Am I a tiger mom, pushing my kid?  I don't think that I am, but I can't help but think it.


I know that Payton is a well adjusted little girl.  She loves to play and is so curious about everything.  However, I can't help but feel like the upcoming decisions we are going to have to make about school somehow determine her fate for the rest of her life.    I know that I am being a little dramatic, but when I try to go to sleep at night all this doubt starts running though my head about are we making the right choices for her.  I know every parent wants the best for their child, and we are no different.  But at the end of the day, I have to have faith that whatever decision we make for her will be the right one.






      

Baking & Organizing

I would say about a year ago Payton and I baked our first cake together.  I will fully admit that my definition of baking a cake is from a box.  I can't remember how it started, but I think one Sunday long ago after dinner she was bored.  I asked her is she wanted to bake a cake for Daddy as a surprise.  Sure enough, Payton loved baking.  Her favorite part is licking the batter.  I know it has raw eggs in it; however, that is part of being a kid.  Last Sunday I was at the store and Ducan Hines had a sale on cake mix.  I think it was like four boxes for five dollars.  This Sunday while Daddy finally got to play golf, Payton and I headed over to my mom's after church and the grocery store and made one of the cakes.

It was a red velvet cake with cream cheese incing.  She loved it.

Also, this weekend I got motivated and started to clean out my junk room.  I finally put all the Christmas decorations away  that I just boxed up and put in that room.  My goal is to make it my office so I can actually start printing off Payton's pictures and organize them in some fashion.

My inspiration is similar to this.

We already have a guest bedroom, but I would also like the room to have a dual function of having another bed/ sitting area just in case.  Also, instead of where the blue sofa is that would be another desk area with the TV  above it.  I am not crazy about the ceiling look or the light fixture, but this is general idea of what I am thinking. I would also love to get some crazy wallpaper and wallpaper the one wall behind the sofa and get a solid pattern sofa.  I think I would also like the color to be a darker shade of green and blue.  This looks a little too baby blue in my opinion.

I also need to do another clean out of our house.  Payton has outgrown a ton of toys and both Derek and I have accumulated a bunch of stuff that needs to go.  The only problem is both Derek and Payton need to be gone in order to fully accomplish the task.

Watch out Tiger Woods

Last weekend Derek was all set to play golf on Saturday.  However, his golfing partner flaked out on him because he thought it was too cold.  Derek was a little bummed because he was all ready to go.  Payton was watching Derek get ready for the big golf outing and decided she wanted to go too.  Derek explained that she would need to practice first before she could hit the course.  So when he returned on Saturday he had bought Payton her very on gold club.  After about three tries and hitting the grass each time the plastic head came off of the metal shaft.  With a little crazy glue, Payton was back to practicing her swing last night as I made dinner.

She was so funny because she made me introduce her before each swing.  She was pretending that she was in the Olympics, so I had to introduce her and say she was representing America each time.  Her swing is getting better; however, I don't think at this point we are ready to put her on the pro-circuit.

Also, last night I got a first from Payton.  She said that the dinner I made was the best ever, and I had to cook it every single night.  What is this  great dinner?  Well, it was homemade breaded, baked chicken with some fancy Italian spices, with canned peas, homemade mac and cheese, and rolls.  I have to say it was pretty good, but I don't know if I would call it the best meal ever.


Lastly, I know today is Valentine's Day.  The day of love and all that.  I have to say of all the "holidays" this one does not rank high on my radar.  I have never been into the holiday regardless if I was single or madly in love.  Also, I think that flowers are a complete waste of money.  Yes, the are beautiful, but also expensive and they die.  I know.......... I am such a romantic.  I do remember one particular Valentine's Day from my youth that was really special.  Of course my Dad always bought my sister and I something every year on this day. It was usually candies with a card.  That was always special to me because it was from my Dad.  However, one year he bought us Valentine jammies.  I don't know why I remember that, but I do.  I also remembered how much I loved the jammies.  Therefore, at lunch I am going to make my way through the crowds at the mall and see if I can find some for Payton.  As I get older, I realize that holidays now are more about kids and making it special for them.  I hope everyone has a wonderful day of love and you get to spend it with the ones that you love the most.

Fun Filled Weekend

This weekend was a busy one.  It started off on Saturday when Derek and Payton had the big Daddy/Daughter Dance.  Since Payton was super excited and treated this like a Princess Ball, she wanted her hair in curls.  Knowing my limited skills with a curling or flat iron, I made her an appointment to get it professionally done.  They also did her nails.

This picture cracks me up.  I told Payton to close her eyes because they were about to hairspray her entire head.

Here is the best part about the whole hair and nail trip.  The lovely ladies didn't charge me one dime.  I was shocked, but they have been cutting Payton's hair since she was a baby.  I think they were loving the fact that Payton was so excited about the dance.

Derek went and got her some flowers.  He then came to the door to pick up his little princess.

 Daddy also bought her a teddy bear.

I am telling you, this little girl was in heaven.

They had a blast.  Although, Payton did fall asleep on the way home.

Then on Sunday Payton and I went to Rapunzel at Casa Manana in Fort Worth.

I really liked Casa Manana better than the Dallas Children's Theater.  First of all, it is so much closer to our house.  Also, you have assigned seating.  The play was okay.  I think the main problem with it was that Payton is very familiar with the movie Tangled.  This was nothing like the movie.  It was still very good and entertaining; however, Payton (and so was I) was expecting it to be more like the movie.


We are planning on catching some more plays there this Spring.   Derek and I are really trying (and I think we are doing a good job) of trying to have more experiences with Payton.  We live so close to so many things that we are really trying to go out there and do things.

This and That

Let's see........... here's just a few things that have been going on lately:

1)  Payton is turning into a pretty tough negotiator.  Her latest thing is giving us a choice.  For example, whenever Derek can't play night, night games because of work Payton will sit next to him and look him in the eyes and tell him he has a choice.  He can play tonight and he will never have to play again or he doesn't have to play tonight, but he must play every other night for the rest of his life.  It is pretty funny because she is so serious about it.

2)  My washing machine decided to have a meltdown last night.  Apparently, it is not draining.  Therefore, I have a load of wet clothes in the machine.  It is still under warranty, but they can't get out to my house until Tuesday.

3)   Derek and Payton are going to a Daddy/Daughter Dance this Saturday.  Payton is beyond excited and they have been practicing their dance moves every night.

4)  On Sunday we are going to see the play Tangled at Casa Manana in Fort Worth.

5)  Every year around Payton's birthday we have her picture professionally done.  This year Derek and I decided to get in on the action and take a family picture as well.  Her birthday was in December and I still haven't scheduled the appointment with the photographer.

6)  We (with the help of our accountant) have already completed our taxes and are getting a refund.  This is the earliest I have ever gotten our taxes done.  And when I say done, I mean get all the documents and get them to the accountant.

7)  When we were first married I attempted to do our taxes.  It was a complete fail.  Our taxes are not even that complicated.  However, I found an awesome accountant close to my work and made the executive decision that paying her $210.00 a year to deal with it was totally worth it.  Also,  because of her awesome tax advice and paying certain things in the same tax year we have received a refund every single year.  Again, so worth the $210.00 we pay.  

8)  I have decided this Spring that we are going to try to grow blue berries, raspberries, and black berries in our backyard.  Payton and Derek love them so much, and apparently Texas is a great climate for growing them.  I have done some research and decided that I am going to grow them in big wine barrels.  Apparently, they can take over your yard (and your neighbors) if the are not watched carefully.  I don't know how it will come out, but it is worth a try.  Also, I am not doing it from the seed.  I am going to buy a young bush.  Therefore, the berries will have a fighting chance of actually thriving.

That's all for now....................