Psychology 101

You may not know this but my undergraduate degree was in Psychology.  This probably explains why I went on to law school.  To be honest, I don't really remember a whole lot from all my psychology courses.  I guess the three concepts that I somewhat recall are:  (1) Pavlov's dogs and classical conditioning; (2) Maslow's hierarchy of needs; and (3)  Freud's Id, Ego and Super Ego. 

In daily application, we have used classical conditioning for potty training.  Rewarding any time she takes care of business.  Now Payton expects a treat anytime she goes to bathroom.  Also, Maslow's hierarchy of needs seems pretty self explanatory.  That leads us now to Freud's theory.

I will copy from wikipedia the general definitions of each because it is just easier that way.

The id  is filled with energy reaching it from the instincts, but it has no organization, produces no collective will, but only a striving to bring about the satisfaction of the instinctual needs subject to the observance of the pleasure principle.

The ego acts according to the reality principle; i.e. it seeks to please the id’s drive in realistic ways that will benefit in the long term rather than bringing grief.

The super-ego aims for perfection. It comprises that organized part of the personality structure, mainly but not entirely unconscious, that includes the individual's ego ideals, spiritual goals, and the psychic agency.


So why I am wasting your time with psychology 101 recap?  Well, because Payton has one big super-ego now.  Maybe not a super-ego in the traditional Freudian scheme, but a super-ego none the less.  Here are some examples of Payton's inflated super-ego:


Last night we were kicking a ball around the house.  She declared she is an expert in soccer.  She is the best soccer player.  I asked her if she wanted to get back into soccer, and she declared (with her hands on her hips) that she doesn't need to take soccer because she is already the best at soccer.  She was dead serious.  




She is convinced that she is a real princess.  Some of it in a good way and some in a bad.  She declares that she can't drink her drinks fast because she is a princess.  She also declares that because she is a princess she can only wear dresses.  Don't you know that princess do not wear jeans???




She also declares that it is hard being so beautiful.  Although I don't correct her on her being beautiful, I do try to limit her primping in the mirror.




Now here is the confession part.............  I am so happy, proud, and delighted that she sees herself this way.  I know that you should never teach your child to boast, but I am thrilled that she has such high self-esteem right now.  I want to encourage her to always think of herself highly, less the bragging, boastful part.  I want to encourage her to never let anyone put her down.  I know how girls can be.  I know that when the middle school years come around that girls start to get plagued with insecurities.  That they start to doubt their abilities, their looks, their clothes, and their social standing of middle school hierarchy.  I so much want to teach her that she needs to be a free thinker, and that she can't let anyone's opinion change or doubt how she views herself. 

When she makes her declarations to me about her abilities, looks, or outfit choices, I look at it as she is being confident.  I wish and want many things for my daughter throughout her life.  However, the most important thing that I want is for to feel loved and be confident.  I think that if you are confident in yourself it will lead to lasting friendships, finding a partner in life that is worthy and appreciates you, and finding a career/profession that you love.  I may be wrong about this, but for what it is worth, if she wants to declare she is the best at something then I am just going to nod and smile.